her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
