Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
