Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
