this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize