I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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