So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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