You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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