I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
