Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
