If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
