party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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