Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
