i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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