Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
