if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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