I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
this is an emotional support booty call
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
