We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
