i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i've created a new STD.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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