just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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