Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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