Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize