he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
