I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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