bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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