Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
