i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
