I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
