Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
a search helicopter?!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
