i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
