you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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