so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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