hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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