Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What a dumb baby whore.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
