You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
