I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
