Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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