Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
