Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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