I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
