Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I am one with the molecules
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
