I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
