you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
