I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
