Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
