She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
