I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
