how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
