I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
