Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
