Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
