will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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