coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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