I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
