If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
