I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
