I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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