I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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